How To Let Go Of Hate For Someone — (and How to Embrace Your Emotions)

how to let go of hate for someone and embrace your emotions with mental health experts from find it health

At one point or another, we have all had emotions of feeling betrayed, hurt, and even hateful at someone. While feeling these emotions is entirely normal, holding them in can lead to many problems

Our team of researchers at FinditHealth found that by not releasing hate for someone, we are encouraging our brains to focus on this anger which leads us to further disappointment from the bad experience. Anger is a powerful emotion that can triumph over the rest, and when you hold on, it leads you to say or act in ways you usually wouldn’t. Keep reading to learn strategies for letting go of hate for someone.

how to let go of hate for someone and embrace your emotions with mental health experts from find it health

How To Let Go Of Anger Towards Someone

Holding on to hate and the source of anger for someone only leads to internal chaos within yourself. These difficult emotions can cause you to behave irrationally and impulsively react in situations in manners that you usually wouldn’t act.

Here are healthy ways to let go of the anger towards someone. 

Embrace Your Emotions 

The first step to letting go of the anger towards someone is to embrace the strong emotions you are experiencing fully. You don’t have to accept or like them but embrace them for what they are trying to tell you. Emotions keep our bodies safe as we experience them. It’s our body and mind trying to protect us from time to time. By embracing your feelings, you can understand what drives this hate and anger towards the person. 

Sometimes we have hate and anger towards someone because they fell short of our expectations. This is where it’s beneficial to embrace your emotions because it can make you realize that maybe you set high expectations for someone, and this can be a growing experience for you. Until you fully explore and process these emotions, they’ll keep resurfacing.


Journaling is a great way to write down anything you feel is holding you back. It allows you to release the negativity and hatred you are experiencing, so you make more space for positive experiences. The longer we hold on to negative emotions, the fewer good experiences we will have in the world. Journaling is also an excellent way for you to identify the triggers that make you dislike or have anger toward someone. These triggers could be anything from work or behavior that instantly sets you off.

Once you identify these triggers, you can create a mantra or phrase that validates your feelings and reassures you that you are okay. This can be anything from “I am safe” to “This doesn’t define me.” We think it’s also important to note that you can give yourself permission to dislike someone and not want them in your life. Not everyone we meet in life is meant to stay in our lives. 

It’s also important to remember to always look forward and not get stuck in the hamster wheel of living in the past with these angry feelings. We have experiences in life that are painful, and sometimes as we protect ourselves, we can get too focused on the initial incident. It’s that famous irony or thought of “Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice; shame on me.”

Having this mentality and harboring this feeling of anger and shame prevents you from evolving in the situation. We need to grow and develop so we can see life from different perspectives and understand that having anger and hate towards someone doesn’t necessarily reflect on them. By having anger and contempt for someone, you also need to release your fear and embarrassment for any situations that might have caused this. Because ultimately, you are the one most influenced by these emotions.

How To Let Go Of Grudges And Bitterness

Letting go of grudges and bitterness is essential because we don’t want to keep repeating this pattern throughout our lives and we want to learn how to keep this anger in check.

These grudges and resentment can start to show in your relationships and unresolved interpersonal conflict.

Typically, hate and anger are reactive defenses we use to protect ourselves because we don’t want to feel pain and fear. While forgiveness is a crucial step, we find the best way to let go of grudges and bitterness is to consider what your part is in these emotions and what you are getting out of by holding on to these grudges and resentment. Sometimes we hold on to these because we don’t want to deal with our current reality, or maybe we are scared to lose a potential friendship  or relationship even if it’s unhealthy for us. It’s taking inventory of our behavior and using this to understand how we end up in these situations that cause us anger and hate. 

Once you have done this, you can practice letting go and embracing yourself. Empathy is the key here as this enables forgiveness towards the person and yourself. Some ways to help you let go are breathwork and meditation practices. Specifically, any visualization exercise can be an excellent tool for letting go.

How To Forgive When You Are Still Angry

It can be challenging to decide to forgive when you are experiencing super strong anger emotions. Just remember, everyone will share this during their life, and we all do the best we can in the given moment.

Remember, the more we can forgive someone, this enables us to let go of this situation finally.

This allows more energy and focuses on positive things in your life that will help you to live more fully. 

Do It For Yourself 

Forgiving someone who hurt you is the best gift you could give yourself. It’s also forgiving yourself for getting in the situation or how you behaved in the situation. We are all learning, and every human makes mistakes throughout their lives. It’s important to forgive and grow from this situation, so you do not repeat it again. 


Anger is usually driven by our fear of vulnerability. This vulnerability masks anger because it’s too hard for us to experience what we feel. When we embrace vulnerability, we begin to understand that anger is actually hurt, guilt, disappointment, and shame in disguise. 
First, it’s essential to acknowledge the hurt you experienced in this situation so you can understand your vulnerable feelings.

Describing what happened and how it made you feel is a start, whether you write it in your journal or communicate it to the person who hurt you and made you angry. When you welcome this uncomfortable process of vulnerability, it gives you a beautiful opportunity to heal and grow. To fully understand the reason behind your anger and what is causing you to feel disappointment or hurt so you can have a sense of acceptance within yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you let go of hate?

Letting go of hate first involves embracing your emotions and recognizing what causes the feelings of hatred and anger in the first place. 

How do you let go of anger when someone hurts you?

It’s important to acknowledge your emotions and understand the true underlying reasons behind them. Then you can work on forgiveness and releasing them, so it doesn’t happen again.

Conclusion – Research by

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Everyone will have hate or anger for someone at some point in life. Maybe it’s over something small like your partner forgetting to buy apples or something big like your boss not respecting you. Regardless of the situation, it’s important to remember how important it is to embrace your emotions and ultimately forgive the person and situation.

Research at FindItHealth found that forgiveness is always the right path to letting go and allowing the most positivity into your life. Learn from the experience and keep evolving on your own personal journey.

Find It Health Editor in Chief Luz Chacon Health and Wellness Coach Giving You Advice

Luz Chacon

Luz Chacon is a Health Educator, Wellness Coach, and EFT Tapping Practitioner with 30+ years in health advocacy. Specializing in stress management, wellbeing, and holistic health, she created a 40% stress reduction employee program. Luz is dedicated to helping busy individuals prioritize self-care, break patterns, and reach goals. She offers programs for organizations and individuals. Luz is passionate about sharing her health research and guiding informed choices!

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Luz Chacon Health Coaches at Find It Health and Stress Management and Natural Holistic Health Coaches