How To Make Friends In My 40's — In Your Middle Age Years
No matter your age, it can be challenging to make new friends, and this especially gets harder as you get older and reach middle age.
Research by FinditHealth found that most people have settled into their friend group as they reach their mid-life to senior years. Then something happens like an illness, a move, a divorce, or a death that causes people to lose contact or lose each other as close friends.
So it’s then the reality of figuring out ways to meet new people and develop new friendships. Keep reading for a few ideas on how to cultivate new relationships and social circles.
Making Friends In Middle Age Years
It’s much easier to make friends when we are younger as more activities make meeting people easier. We could quickly meet people in high school or in the early days on the job with coworkers, or through social circles. Even early parenting puts us close to other young parents with playdates for the kids, and older kids’ activities and school events allow us to meet other parents.
While some say that life begins at 40, studies have shown that people in their 40s feel the loneliest. The loss of friendships and a social life combined with this feeling of loneliness typically arises from two situations. It’s either because of a gradual change in your circumstances or a sudden change in your circumstances. This could be circumstances like an unhappy relationship or divorce, children leaving to go to college, and even having to work from home.
While this all makes sense, it’s mainly now even more important to prioritize meeting new people and making new friendships. Without social connections, we tend to withdraw and miss out on our lives, which further increases our loneliness. When we are lonely, we also withdraw and diminish our capacity for creating ideals in life. For most of us, an ideal life is one in which we can be our best selves, be surrounded by good people, and live to our highest potential. In which we feel good and have the freedom of good mental and physical health. An ideal life can be achieved regardless if you are an extrovert or introvert!
Prioritizing friendships, and making new friends, is also a great form of self-care. Our general well-being revolves around those activities and mindsets that keep us healthy, positive, happy; thus making us better people. This is what self care is all about. Self care practice is the basics of both physical and mental health wellbeing. When used towards friendships, self-care is finding people that share shared interests and similar interests to you. While self-care is a beautiful thing to do for yourself, it can be just as wonderful as an act with friends.
How To Make Friends As An Adult
Fear not; it is possible to make friends as an adult. You’ve just got to find people that are open to meeting others and get creative with ways of getting out into the social scene. This is especially the case if this is your first time actively seeking to meet new people or living in a new city where you know no one.
We would encourage first starting an evening journal practice to figure out what you are seeking in friendship.
First, try reaching out to old friends or people you haven’t connected within a while that could make for potential friends. There may be people in your community you used to spend time with or someone who was a close friend, but life got busy, and you just stopped seeing each other gradually. Suppose you remember that friendship fondly and just drifted apart. In that case, it may be worth a phone call to see if they would be interested in catching up over coffee. This could also be done with people you have vaguely met at parties or other social events.
Typically, these are people we only see when a mutual friend has a party, but we look forward to their company with the small talk. Instead of waiting for another opportunity where the two of you might attend an event, go ahead, and reach out to this person. Second, get out and be more visible in your neighborhood. Go for walks and be friendly to people you meet or pass by as you walk.
You will start seeing the same people regularly and might be able to start up a nice conversation. If you have a dog, you could find a park and see about meeting with other dog owners. Animals have such healing qualities and could also make for great conversation starters.
Meetup Events Or Groups
As we get older, we recognize the principle of quality over quantity. To apply this to friendships means we seek people with whom we are compatible and have similar passions and interests. This is why it’s best to seek out or join groups and events of things that you enjoy. This will allow you to socialize and meet people with similar minds and interests.
One of the easiest ways to get out in society and meet people is volunteering. Research your local community and find an organization or non-profit that needs help or has a cause that speaks to you. Volunteering for a cause that is important to you will help you meet people with similar interests. You can volunteer by serving food at a local soup kitchen, helping care for animals at an animal rescue center, or volunteering at the local hospital. You will support and meet other people who could quickly become your friends. Volunteering is also just a great example of doing a good deed in the world. Something we always need more of!
Another great tool is to check out meetup.com. This site helps people find, make and join groups around particular hobbies and interests in their geographical area. These can be book clubs, film nights, language trades, walking groups, and anything imaginable. You can even find groups centered around particular age groups and cultures. Meetup is a great site because you know you will be meeting people who are also open to making new friends. We just caution you to limit your social media usage because constantly being online and using social media isn’t good or healthy. The goal is to get you outside and active in making new friends, not staying stagnant in front of a computer.
Lastly, look around your local neighborhood for groups or clubs you could join. This could be sports, yoga, a book club at the local library, or even a chess club. You can also investigate a local community club and senior center to find more classes and options. It’s important to remember to join clubs and activities that match your interests. Or it could be something new that you have always wanted to try. This will help open the door to more quality friendships in your life.
Leading With Curiosity
Some people are open to meeting others and making friends too. You’ve just got to find them. It takes effort; you need to be willing to meet others, be yourself, and give something of yourself.
A good way forward is to start with your interests. When you have interests and activities you enjoy, you can meet and join in with people with similar interests.
Whether it’s playing or watching a sport, creative activity or enjoyment of arts and culture, getting together with people who like and enjoy the same things as you make it easier for you to talk to them and make friends because you’ve already got something in common; you share similar interests and values.
By opening your curiosity and venturing out to make new friends you are also increasing your spiritual abundance. Spiritual abundance is that feeling of being self-sufficient and not wanting things for the sake of them. This abundance is about attaining a spiritual level where you connect with the universe, the source of all things.
Conclusion – Research by Findithealth.com
Research by our team at FinditHealth has shown having friends keeps us happy and healthy. Social connections give us a sense of belonging and support in life when it’s stressful.
Yes, there are times in life when our friend count may go down, but with a bit of effort, it is possible to make new friends and bring old friends closer. It’s also a great opportunity to improve your social skills. See it as a fun challenge and get excited about meeting new people and maybe even discovering new interests and passions!
Luz Chacon is a Health Educator, Wellness Coach, and EFT Tapping Practitioner with 30+ years in health advocacy. Specializing in stress management, wellbeing, and holistic health, she created a 40% stress reduction employee program. Luz is dedicated to helping busy individuals prioritize self-care, break patterns, and reach goals. She offers programs for organizations and individuals. Luz is passionate about sharing her health research and guiding informed choices!