Long Distance Relationship Anxiety — (and How to Stop Overthinking)

long distance relationship anxiety and how to stop overthinking in a relationship

Relationships are beautiful, but each comes with challenges, especially if they are long-distance. It’s easy to get distracted by time zones, poor communication, and just missing that person. But don’t worry, new research from members of FinditHealth found simple steps that will help you overcome long-distance relationship anxiety.

Keep reading to learn little things that will help your long-distance relationship anxiety and strengthen your relationship.

long distance relationship anxiety and how to stop overthinking in a relationship

How To Stop Overthinking In A Long-Distance Relationship

Overthinking is a common culprit of many problems in relationships, especially in long-distance relationships.

We believe this is one of the first things to address in a long-distance relationship and we encourage you to use the advice below.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff 

It’s important to stop worrying about the little details, but this isn’t easy, especially if it is your first long-distance relationship. This could be worrying about why they aren’t answering their phone and just general overthinking about what they are doing with their day. All these little things add up, and they can make it difficult to enjoy the long-distance experience and just a healthy relationship in general.

It’s important to recognize and decide whether the little things are worth worrying about! We can’t control everything, and it’s instead more important to live in the moment and cherish your partner. Instead of sweating the small stuff, schedule and plan video dates or photo calls so you can connect and spend time together. 

Stop Trying To Assume You Know What Your Partner Is Thinking

This is probably one of the top reasons anxiety and stress are caused in long-distance relationships. A long-distance relationship is already stressful enough because you are not together, and stress will only build if you assume you know what your partner is thinking. It’s hard being away from a romantic partner for long periods of time. In relationships, it’s essential never to try and read your partner’s thoughts and make assumptions about what they’re feeling. Instead, genuinely ask them and let them vocalize their thoughts to you. It’s also better to be emotionally available and be yourself than to assume you know everything about your partner.

Schedule time out in the week for quality time dates. These are specific times where you build emotional intimacy, and physical intimacy, and discuss your needs and if they are getting met in the relationship. For example, in long-distance relationships, some people need text check-ins during the day. In contrast, a short 5 min call in the evening does plenty for others. Talk and communicate with your partner to truly understand their needs and what they need in a long-distance relationship.

Find Hobbies

One of the easiest ways to stop anxiety in a long-term relationship is to get busier and find more hobbies. You can stop overthinking quickly in a long-term relationship if you don’t have extra time to sit and think about everything! This is also a great time to explore self-care activities and any hobbies you want to try because you will have more free time since your partner is not there. Sign up for a membership at your local yoga studio, go for more walks in nature, schedule more outings with friends, or even plan on reading more books. Use the time wisely, and you will find time will fly during a long-distance relationship.

Long Distance Relationship Separation Anxiety

Long-distance relationship separation anxiety is normal to experience, especially in a new long-distance relationship.

Separation anxiety is categorized as the fear of being separated from a loved one who is a source of safety and connection.

You could also experience separation anxiety from a pet, which is why more animals are becoming emotional support companions.

Separation anxiety in a relationship is very normal because intimate relationships make us more vulnerable. When we are vulnerable with our partners, we start to see them as a source of safety, connection, and especially familiarity. Because of these intense, strong feelings of anxiety, we fear losing this person and this relationship.

This is where separation anxiety can occur. It can also occur if you are not having good communication and are overthinking about your partner. This can lead to thoughts of your partner cheating and just send you spiraling down a hole that will only make things worse. It’s important to always prioritize good communication and checking in with your partner to make sure everyone is feeling validated and safe to make a long-distance relationship work. 

Separation anxiety can be different for everyone and we encourage you to seek out a therapist if you need professional help. It can be mild symptoms of just general longing for that person, or others can share a great deal of anxiety and stress. If you are feeling more than unease, like a sense of being out of control, or lots of stress, and it’s impacting your daily routine, it might be time to see a psychologist or therapist.

Highs And Lows Of Long Distance Relationships

Here are the most tell-tale signs that your needs are not being met. 

There are many highs and lows of a long-distance relationship, and everyone will experience both. We will start first with the lows. 


One of the immense lows in a long-distance relationship is being reminded on social media that you are not around your partner. The reminder is that you cannot go grocery shopping together, hang with friends and family, and even just simple daily routines like going on a walk together or watching a movie on Netflix. Another significant low is just general loneliness but not being around your partner.

This can be having an exciting big day at work and wanting to go out and celebrate or having a big hug from your partner. Yet, you must settle for a phone call and wait for them to become available. We think this brings us to another low, just general physical touch. This is one of the hardest things about long-distance relationships because there is no physical touch or physical intimacy.


Having more time for yourself is the most significant high of being in a long-distance relationship. You have more time for self-care and the general “me time.” You can put more time in at work, spend more time in the gym, focus on healthy eating, and even hang out with friends. It can even be a healthy reminder to prioritize your me time even when you are together. While relationships are a beautiful and incredible thing, sometimes, we get stuck in the habit of being with our partners 24/7.

Long Distance Relationship Depression

Because long-distance relationships can cause stress and anxiety, this can also lead to depression. If you are experiencing extreme sadness or depression we would encourage you to talk to your partner and let them know how you feel.

Then if it’s interfering with your daily life, seek out a therapist.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I deal with long-distance relationship anxiety?

Communicate with your partner and set up weekly date nights and other activities that help you feel connected.

Is it normal to feel off in a long-distance relationship?

Yes, it is normal for couples to feel off in long-distance relationships. You feel off because you miss each other, cannot experience physical touch, and just worry about when you will see each other again.

What kills long-distance relationships?

Overthinking and assuming you know your partner’s every thought ultimately kills a long-distance relationship.

Conclusion – Research by Findithealth.com

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Sometimes in life, we have to experience a long-distance relationship, which can even strengthen our relationship. Our team of researchers at FinditHealth found that not overthinking, good communication and weekly quality time can make the best of a long-distance relationship situation.

We also encourage you to enjoy the extra time for yourself and remember your partner is only a phone call away.

Find It Health Editor in Chief Luz Chacon Health and Wellness Coach Giving You Advice

Luz Chacon

Luz Chacon is a Health Educator, Wellness Coach, and EFT Tapping Practitioner with 30+ years in health advocacy. Specializing in stress management, wellbeing, and holistic health, she created a 40% stress reduction employee program. Luz is dedicated to helping busy individuals prioritize self-care, break patterns, and reach goals. She offers programs for organizations and individuals. Luz is passionate about sharing her health research and guiding informed choices!

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Luz Chacon Health Coaches at Find It Health and Stress Management and Natural Holistic Health Coaches